RadLarSey!!. OH. that's what people call me. Or for short, RAD!!.07011991 . LEGALLY NINETEEN!! :). like it , hate it , not for ME to judge?!. Currently Taking Bike License . SMOKING destress me. ALOT!?!. Im a SILENT reader to all my BlogMates. ONE word , SIMPLE . that is best describe me!!, navigations are on the SIDE . Loves: Myself. doodling. hanging-out. green and black. chocolates. ice cream.CAREBEARS. cartoons. movie. music. HIM. Loathes: CROWDED PLACES. MALAY DRAMAS. . condescending people. racism. cramp spaces. trapped in a lift alone. MORE?

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ask-me-if-u-want-my-email@hotmail.com
for life isn't long, make the best of it,
love yourself, love others

i like the song an his voice..nice!!

well...i noe ive not been updating so...yar..here i am updating on wad haf happen in the last few daes...well last few daes when to KL with my cuz and relatives..it was fun .they enjoyed it..i dont really..cuz got too many things on my mind..then went to many interesting places and enjyed it....it was nice lar..i shoped fer some personal stuff...i miss out some things thou..nmind..my mom going KL agiain this 18.hahaha..wanna asked her to buy fer mie a white and black jeans..and some clothes..hahaha..well..todaes nothing much thing happen thou..social studies was boring as usual..i talked wit fid and man....i owaes kena colored by pang cuz toking..shit!!hahaha then went out of schl with fidi and diana they all..fid mit someone then lepaskan rindu ..hahahahaha...mie and diana tok crap..hahaha..diana sae she going emo gig this saturdae...i wanna to see how emo gig is like..hmm..nmind next time then lar...my oral exam was crap...i wasnt nervous but pissed..look at angela lin like shit...perangia pukimak...and i was toking crap..hahahha..didnt face angela but the other teacher..prfft!!dun wish to eleborate more...hahaha..


p.s:kau nak tipu gan si penipu..pikir dua kali ehk..aku bukan adik2 kau..kau nak main2kn aku...perangai kau gini mcm..tak yah lar kau nak berkawan ngan aku..aku pon dah tak ingin lagi...kau leh gi berambos jauh2 main gan pompan lain...but wait..wad goes around comes around...ade pegi ade balik....ape kau dapat nak tipu aku...pegi berambos aku kate..jauh2 pon lagi bagos...



greeny.yellowy.yellowy2.eggface and rhinowy..hahaha
this is wad happen when u are bored in art room..hahaha."my fren
nice right..drawn by samuel
emotional
fidi's art piece.my story..
yup..wee..
the final design..
the face..too nice to look at!!


well..school was kinda mundane..as always..there were too many absentee todae..but not that much as 4n3..20 student were absent.imagine that..hahahaha..haiz...hmm..nothing interesting happen todae.got my art result back..woohoo..lucky i passed..hahaha...then nothing happen.just that i finally saw samuel art piece face to face..wow!!it ws very nice..i took pictures of it thou..cool huh!!i need to buck up on my art caourse work..i am gonna do that as soon as i back from holidae..cool-ness..was talking then aisha asked me to see her profile..then saw all her pics..nice!!then look at her friend list..there was it..i saw some heartbreaking name..shit!!!suddenly lost the mood..my heart suddenly felt pain..really pain..i totally damn that name..shit..fuck....arsehole...i was soo freaking angry..ape nak buat..im single but thatz okey..im loving it to da fullest..don't wish to go on a relationship...animore..i mean it..for now. bye!and yar..im goin to kl tomorrow..so i wont be bloggin for at leat 4 daes..haiz..im not going to enjoy there just taking myself away from everything..im gonna miss everyone..hahahah..


i feel so shitty. and crap..shit!!i can't seem to figure out why..is it because og him or someone else??what happen between him and me was that..i was feeling moody that day,then he called..but i was feeling moody and a lil pissed because he asked me to wait for don't know how long the he called.then don't know with that pissed mody atitude i cried then put down the phone.i tink and cried to myself and thought ,i cried not because of him but for someone else.i miss him so much and want him back in my life.at the real moment i realised that i don't love him but just liked him.that's why i didnt get myself involve in more then just close friend relationship.i wanted to tel him but i just don't have the guts to say it to him i don;t love him.and the feeling for someone and love about someone else is still strong.thou it's been one month or less but i still can't forget about him.why?i don't want to hurt his feeling because i know how it feels to get hurt and how it feels..why is life is so damn so freaking difficult with so many obstacle to go through? god damn it.well..i've decided to not go on any relationship foe now or never still not ever..wadever...



well..today everything is okay...school was kinda fun..hahahaha...school was okey...then after school..went home straight then after that take somethings then after that meet them at leisure then off to NTU.watch the soccer math..okey lar..thou we got trash rabak..well sportsmanship that counts..hahaa..onlie they are the want who so fucking stuck up...wadever..juz relax lar..relek er yi..hahahha..wad goes around comes around..well that's all lar..k..bye!!im dead beat..gonna slip..nitez!!ouh yar..going kl on saturday.. till on tuesdae..hahahah..bye...

Labels: wad goes around comes around..

never sae i love you
when u really don't care
never talk about feelings
if they arent really there
never hold my hand
if u gonna break my heart
never sae ure going to
if u dont plan to start
never look into my eyes
if all u do is lie
never sae hi
if u really mean goodbye
if u really mean forever
then sae u will try
don sae forever
cos forever makes me cry......

saw this from amira blog..jgn marah... :)






I AM NOT EMO..serious shit I AM NOT EMO. U r emo..I hate labellers..trendy wankers..turn out to be not urself but imitating others..aww..it rili hurts to noe sumone lyk tat.. I wore multiple colours..wich depends on the occassion itself..i listen to multiple genre of songs..be it rock,punkrock,emocore,screamo n such..I dun discriminate cultures or concepts...coz i noe..TATS sux...let dem be wat they want.. Everyone has their own STYLE...U guys juz shut up if u guys dun like it...simple as it is..=))
Sometimes i felt Life wasn't as easy as u think."You can't have everything in Life" and sometimes u hav 2 let go u have in order to gain something. Well this is true and it really happens to me but only GOD knows how i feel.




hey todae was supposed to werk ..then...didnt come cuz 2 daes mc...god noes wad sikness i hve...hahaha..well..satying home was bored..got nothing to do..hahaha....juz study my math and watch tv..datz all thhen now use the comp..got nothing to update lar..hahahaha..k lar..bye!!


hey ..i noe itz been a long tyme ive not been blogging here..i getting used to the temporary blog till i 4get bout tis...hmm....well..nothing much haf happen thou...mid-year exam totally suck..fer sure..cuz i didnt study..hahaha...cool..im too .having mix feeling bout continuing my studies..itz either i go ite straight or jus continues till sec5 which is ive no confindence in passing my o level..haiz..im keeping my option open...yup..itz kinda late but...yar..but well..wad to do kn..hmm..ive been tinking of continueing but then..im lazy to study...haiz...well see..hmm..ive been doing revision om my math so..hope it will be worth while till my n level comes..ouh yar..btw i got suspended..till next fridae..like shit..totally shitty..!!never get to see my paper..well..no sweat lar..cuz i didnt study fer them..so yr!!bye!!


found this at friendster..read it!itz interesting...:


Roses are red
Lemons are sour
Open ur legs and give me an hour

Kissing Is A Habit
Fuuckking Is A Game
Guys Get All The Pleasure
Girls Get All The Pain
10 Minutes Of Pleasure
9 Months Of Pain
3 Days In The Hospital
A Baby Without A Name
The Father Is A Bast4rd
The Mother Is A Wh0re
This Woulda Never Happend If The Rubber
Hadn't Tore!!

Sex is like math
You subtract the clothes
Add the bed
Divide the legs
And Pray to god
You dont multiply

Roses are red
Grass is green
Open your legs
And I'll fill you with cream

Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid

u opened it so u r cursed for 5 yrs. u
need to read it ENTIRELY!!

roses are nice
violets are fine.
ill be the six
if you be the nine.

sexxx is evil
sexxxx is a sin
sins are forgiven
so stick it in



argh!!!kpo kia..!!update...im pissed..

well art paper was fine..luckily finished it on time...i wasnt in the best mood thou....hahaha...hmm..was making jokes with fidi before and after art paper..we talk and make fun during the paper..btw fidi..how can u saed dat ur art piece was abt mie him and her..hahaha..omg..good story line thou..then we saw samuel art..itz so nice there is onli two colors that he use blank and white..hahaaha..i gona take picture os fidis and sam's art piece once we got it back...after art paper..went jp with aisha cuz she felt hungry..so went to banquet to eat..otw we saw many jwss ppl..my class mate..shafiq..farhan.nash black and ali oso..hahaha..i so paisey to face black cuz i owe him 30 buck cuz of something..hahahai pay u bck soon yar..ouh yar...i nid ppl comment bout something..u guyz think ive changed...??to be an attention seeker or some one hu is looking fer sympathy..i just cud not figure out which part of mie that saes dat....hmm..ppl do haf diff perception of others..so...yar..but still..hmm..ive made up my mind to not update in this blog fer awhile..i will be updating at my temporary blog...but still..my tagboard will be active thou..soo..comment yar bout my post and tell mie honestly..haf i changed fer the worst or better....k..gtg..bye!!

well..ive changed..y??well i chnged fer now cuz i donwan to look back and cry everynight jus to tink tthat u wud call or msg mie....happie??i changed cuz everything changed..i changed fer a short period of tyme..to get over it and move on..but guess wad..u got mie all misunderstood...u tot i wan to be an attention seeker...juz like u did??huh??im sick and tired of crying everydae thinking we will be back again...i wan it to get over and done wit it..but i too nid too changed...fr now im this crazy gerl hu wanto lead a normal life ...juz being crazy..juz fer now...u anti those kind of ppl...huh.. u tooo were part of them..u dun realise it lar...4get it dun wan to rack up the past...im a fake??yar..fer now i am..cuz i wan to be happy...i to wan to be happy like ani other human being..but fer now icnt..i juz dont see the link to u making a big fuss over mie changing to a crazy person..u wan to be wad so emo over u??keep updating my blog with emo werds??saeing i badly nid u ..i still love u all that..huh..yes..i admit .i miss n love u..but i dunwan u to tink im crazy....get it....wadever it is..i will chnged sooner or later..well fer now..i dono..i nid to tink....i still waiting fer ur presence....but one fact is that i reali listen to screamo long tyme ago..dta im not making it up...

welll....todae math paper was easy pissy to fail...mie and my friends were freaking struggling..both paper were shit lar...so..while others were doing there paper this is wad i did ..i drew.hahaha..i drew myself..hahaha..asked fidi to write fer mie my name..cuz u noe i suck at writting....comments yar..i was realli bored ..realli...dun bluff u....the paper was so long..i juz gave up...so were the others..i tot iwas the onlie wan..but hell no...n yea!!tomorrow is art..finally..then mondae biology..goodness..is finally ending soon...well i guess..i will be bucking up during my june holidae...cuz..i nid to catch up with the others...yupyup..geez..i guess thisis all i got fer todae..toodles!!SCREAM!!

Labels: SCREAM

history paper were shit!!wad i study didnt came out..like fuck rite..that fucker mr pang tell lies onli...tell us to study certain chapter onli den end up diff chapter came out...cibai..wadever it is .itz oredi over..paper finish earli..so went home earli..then slip til 2 plus wake up then do art then while watching tv boboy and abg dik came over fer a visit...den..now doing nothing..hahaha...later studying fer math..wahahahaha..burn midnite oil lar..haiz..i was waiting fer someone to go online then he didnt..haiz...fine..k lar nothing much to update thou..aniting update more on the math paper tomorrow..*grins*..wahahahaha...im love to listen to screamo nowadaes.thankz to fidi hu ask mie to listen to them..wakakaka..im having evil tot rite now..im doing it during june holidae thou..wakakaka.bye!!!

well...todae was sosial studies*grins* and physics..social studies was okey..but i tink i still fail..but with great achievement cuz i try to study and i did!!yeah!!but physics...no hope lar..not in the mood to talk bout physics...i was sliping half wae doin..cuz i noe..i wont make it..hahaha..so does my whole class..i found new werd..gutso!!yup..there is such werd..cool huh..hmm..went home early..then wanted to go library do my art ..end up cancelling it myself..prfft!!pape lar...hmmm...went home clean my pathetic room..after cleaning..hmm..do art lar..den later studying my history...waliao..burning midnite oil i guess tonite...hhaiz...hmm..im owaes having those weird drean ...hmm....how to get over it arh??wadever with it....cool-ness..im going crazy sia..hmmm....shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!got counselling after exam next week!!!!!!NO!!!sial lar...hmm...k lar..gtg..bye!!wo ai ni!!

Labels: i love his accent

hey..werk was fine todae..i was late as usual..typical of mie!!hahaha..was doing cashier todae..was fine...everthing was kinda okey..got to noe dear amlyna lost her hp at the cinema..hahaha..sad fer her..use up her money on it..cheer up k..one downfall after another..was being scolded by a malay customer due to her bad service..haiz...hmm...okey lar..thou wasnt realli in the mood to werk..wanted to sabo actualli..but then ..hmm....nmind..well b4 goin to werk...i msg fiby bout s the song and she told mie wad it is abt.and i listened to it to..here are our conversation...

me:wad actualli the song abt..cuz dat someone asked mie to listen.it was from him to mie....
fiby: i let u see the lyric okey..and gez that someone trying to sae dat he stil love u and wan u bck..saing dat ol e memories wont be erase.haha..wad a _
me:wah..haiz...yar..btw..i adked dat someone to listen to pink-who knew..haha..
fiby:hehe..y guyz arg..hehe..nanti lame2 kahwin aru tao..wakwak..
me:erm..dat not gonna happen..i guess..bt still cn..aku maseh sygkn dier bt..haiz..aku tk tao..wad if it happens dat he wans me bck..shud accept mie bck??
fiby:follow ue heart bt dnt ignnore ur head..tink the bad ..wad if he rpt the same mistake like zul..??izzit worth it??wad if he chnge..datz gud..u hv to decide urselfcuz u noe him well..rmber tat wadever ur decisn..u muz b confident n sincere.dnt l8er u regret..datz ol i gotta sae...gud luck..
me:aiya.. aku tak tao..aku asyik teringt pasal dier gan pompan tu ehem..u noe wad..n dat buat aku sakit ati ..haiz..but i cnot seem to hate him..
fiby:i noe wad u mean..i wasder b4,bein deceived n ditched by thos mader farker like a mooron..bt haiz..wad to do rite..mayb u nid tyme now..dnt make decision when ure pressuriseddun regret it later...
me:yar..i guess..u were rite mayb i am too pressurised and oso stressed out...



yup datz all i guess..and btw i top up my ppaid..haiz..mayb cnhged my no, end of month..hu noes..mayb not..we'll see.. bye!!


hey ....todae nothing much happen..juz stay home to study....yar..heard mie..study...realli..i try and i did..im kinda feeling better rite now...because of music of cause.....thou i keep missing him badly...and everything will be reminded of...haiz..it will take mie months to overcome this once and for all..trust mie..it hurts badly..it like sumone stab me in the front..i noe he is happy withhis new gerl*grins*..haiz..but wad can i do but to wish them luck...haiz..hmmm....i noe itz my fault that everything turn out that wae..i dun treasure him..i dun care bout his feelon much..i dun tok to him much..i control the way he dress...i noe..everthing is my fault...sorie..realli sorie..i just hope we cud be back together...realli..if it happens..i promise myself i will treasure u...but itz over now...haiz..gtg noting much to update..bye!!relink mie yar ppl..my new url:xlostxlifexwithinx.blogspot.com!!

roy lim got to noe wad i did..and he is giving me advise on wad to to..to take easy in life..haks...everyone sae it so simple...try being in my shoe..hw do u feell..u wunt noe how hurtfull im feeling rite now..my life is not normal animore..i haf difficulties breathing and i cant really laugh like i used to and haf to bear the pain if i wan to...itz not easy animore...i feel my pain but u cnt...im good at hiding things to myself...noone noe if im happy or not cuz i owaes have dat smiley face and owaes make jokes...cuz that the onli wae fer mie to release myself from dat misery..haiz.....fuck shit life..bye!!ouh yar btw..i asked some of my friends who are guyz and told them wad happen...then..i ask them bout their oppinion and asked them if dat wud haf hapen ..wad wud they do..they sae they wud back out and they wont go on to the extent of kissing...cuz they noe how angry they are they noe their limits..and if they still love their exs...unless thatz the way of the gerl who wanted a guyz she wants...thankz to those hu tried to console mie todae...i appreciated..but the pain...is still dere..haiz

Labels: im crushed

everthing...is soo fucking wrong..nothing is right..family torn apart..my sis fought with my brother..my mom just scolded and beat my brother..and im left here restless with nothing to do or juz cnt help myself to help it....no one to turn to..no one to talk to ..no 1 to express my feeling to..everthing seems so wrong...im lost...just lost ..so lost..which no one to direct me in life...y everthing so wrong..tell me..cud sumone tell mmie the answer...or a direction will do..so i can lead my life btter with nothing to worry about..haiz...


itz not mie who not giving dat someone a second chance...i tried..ppl juz dnwan to accept..wad else can i sae...juz so be it lar...with dat lyrics of dat song...let u go..it shud go to u not mie....ure the wan hu....u noe wad....

It's not like I haven't tried over and over again
Stupid fights, wrong or right

it not me who haven tried...u the wan hu dun tried hard enuff...i wan to chnge for the better but not making the effort..

Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time and you know it
Don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing 
 how to feel huh..u made me into nothing ...useless and broken inside.


said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
Know I don't wanna
But I gotta let you go

 u said we will be together forever..now who is the wan hu make everthing impossible rite now??

You're the one mistake I really didn't mind
So beautiful, unmerciful
It took me down
Too little and too late
See now I know your kind
You fake it easy just to please me
Don't you know
It's not like i haven't tried over and over again

 this verse is for me to you..

  
I gotta let you go
It's you
There's nothing I can do

there is nothngleft for mie to do...i will miss you..i wont hate you..trust mie..but i got to let you goo with someone else

[Gwen]
If I could escape I would but,
First of all, let me say
I must apologize for acting stank & treating you this way
Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

[CHORUS]
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world
& I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
Tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet, I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better, Tell me boy wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

[Akon]
I want to get away, to our sweet escape
I want to get away, yeah

[Gwen]
You held me down, I'm at my lowest boiling point
Come help me out, I need to get me out of this joint
Come on let's bounce, counting on you to turn me around
Instead of clowning around, let's look for some common ground
So baby, times get a little crazy
I've been gettin' a little lazy, waitin' on you to come save me
I can see that you're angry by the way that you treat me
Hopefully you don't leave me, wanted you with me

[CHORUS]
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world
& I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet (sorry boy)
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

Woohoo, Yeehoo
Woohoo, Yeehoo (If I could escape)
Woohoo, yeehoo (If I could escape)
Woohoo, Yeehoo

Cause I've been acting like sour milk all on the floor
It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator
Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold?

[CHORUS]
If I could escape & recreate a place that's my own world
& I could be your favourite girl (forever), Perfectly together
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)
If I could be sweet (sorry boy)
I know I've been a real bad girl (I'll try to change)
I didn't mean for you to get hurt (whatsoever)
We can make it better
& tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet? (sweet escape)

i was sick todae..didnt come to school todae...was pretty sick....real sick..fever..no wonder u guyz didnt see me in school rite...i noe u guyz miss me...hahaha..lame lar rad...-.-* .....well the nite befor tok on the phone with black..he is the best buddy hu help mie pull thru this miseries..im glad that he is there when i nid sumone to tok to...i told everthing..every single thing...every little detail...he cud not oso believe it...i ask him wud he do such a thing..n he sae no..unless ure desperate for practical love...and i just kept quiet....the headache is killing my braincellls..haiz..maybe not going to school agian tomorrow...tooo sick...aniwan hu is curious as to wad im toking abt ask mie on msn..n i tell u everything...and yar...im chnging my msn and blog url...and not ot 4get my hp no. waiting tilll i finish this ppaid then i chnge to a new no. ...kind of sick with all those spam... too much memories with it also...yup..once i got it i msg those hu im close to...welll going to start thinking abt my new msn email add...and everthing....bye ppl...i love ppl hu love mie...afiqqah ..i love you..thanks fer making me smile again..cnt wait to werk with yar again...my medecine is showing case itself in the closet..